Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize