This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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