that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
