"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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