Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Panties = found
Randomize
