Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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