i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
