This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
