Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
