If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
