So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
