Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
