I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
