it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
