Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
