Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
