I wish I only lived at night.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
