I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
