i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
