is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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