just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
