I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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