Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
