I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
