i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
