On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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