The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
