So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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