He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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