i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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