i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
