I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
