This dress was meant to end up on your floor
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Randomize