I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
