I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
