My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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