dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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