Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
