I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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