I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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