So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
