Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize