Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize