90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
