Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
