you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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