Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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