I wanna bring you to show and tell
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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