I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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