Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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