I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i've created a new STD.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize