Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
