In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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