sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
