I showed him my bush... on skype.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize