I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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