well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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