Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
