Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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