the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
