Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
