Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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