Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
